John Starling
1 min
Updated: Jul 14, 2022
Q: My husband won't stop masturbating he used to do it a lot and even to porn before we married and he says it's not personal and he loves me he could be intimate with me everyday but he'd still do it he says it's his way of relieving stress and he doesn't admit it's haram and I'm in agony any advice?
A: Masturbation is not permitted unless there is a real dire need e.g. to avert zina, or due to a medical emergency. In fact, Imam al-Mardawi in his monumental work al-Insaf notes that such an act warrants censure due to it being impermissible.
If it is at the frequency you describe, he may need to get help from a professional to overcome the habit. The excuse that it is a stress reliever is not a sufficient enough excuse to justify the behavior. There are plenty of other permissible means to relieve stress.
I also remind you that this is probably a very sensitive subject with your husband and you should do all you can to protect his honor and show him mercy, as you desire mercy for your sins, in order to help him overcome it.
If this is a result of an increased sexual desire on his part, you are obliged to make yourself available to him even if you are not "in the mood" and should consider such times a form of cooperation in piety that will warrant reward from Allah.
Allah knows best.